yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
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I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
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There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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