the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.