dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
