I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.