Dude, you need to talk to your mom
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party