Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

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(314): View more from Missouri

who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...

(1-314): View more from Missouri

I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.

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(765): View more from Indiana

What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(218): View more from Minnesota

just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts

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(330): View more from Ohio

dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless

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(352): View more from Florida

Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.

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