Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.

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(512): Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes. http://tfl.nu/c6y2

Replies (9) Good night (713) Bad night (716)
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(650): View more from California

Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___

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(650): Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___ http://tfl.nu/djlq

Replies (4) Good night (545) Bad night (1107) Order T-Shirt
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(636): View more from Missouri

I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom

(636): View more from Missouri

You know how us drunks love counting steps

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(636): I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom (636): You know how us drunks love counting steps http://tfl.nu/2dlf

Replies (17) Good night (2487) Bad night (498)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...

(612): View more from Minnesota

I want my thong back.

(763): View more from Minnesota

I hate you tequila.

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(763): I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong... (612): I want my thong back. (763): I hate you tequila. http://tfl.nu/u481

Replies (16) Good night (4871) Bad night (703)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to

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(704): My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to http://tfl.nu/cyq1

Replies (13) Good night (4745) Bad night (948) Order T-Shirt
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(716): View more from New York

He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.

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(716): He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready. http://tfl.nu/z83a

Replies (9) Good night (4803) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.

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(306): They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties. http://tfl.nu/2id3

Replies (24) Good night (9884) Bad night (819)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

As in ill only blow him next week

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(403): I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow (403): As in ill only blow him next week http://tfl.nu/dd9t

Replies (14) Good night (3026) Bad night (809)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms

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(412): I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms http://tfl.nu/sbef

Replies (18) Good night (3693) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
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(440): View more from Ohio

I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.

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(440): I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire. http://tfl.nu/vw34

Replies (11) Good night (2992) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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(813): View more from Florida

Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.

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(813): Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom. http://tfl.nu/y5hs

Replies (7) Good night (2095) Bad night (597)
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(323): View more from California

Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah

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(323): Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah http://tfl.nu/389u

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(252): View more from North Carolina

We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground

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(252): We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground http://tfl.nu/v1ru

Replies (8) Good night (1816) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So, were they human bite marks at least?

(434): View more from Virginia

Your guess is as good as mine.

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(617): So, were they human bite marks at least? (434): Your guess is as good as mine. http://tfl.nu/gi39

Replies (5) Good night (699) Bad night (278)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well

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(+44): The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well http://tfl.nu/us1u

Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt

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