who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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