Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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