ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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