just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
