What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
