I cockslap morals
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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