just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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