i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
