I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
