Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
