Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
