you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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