You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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