he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
only if we run a train.
done.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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