so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just cut my nipple shaving
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
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I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
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Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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