whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize