I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
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the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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