so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
