butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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