I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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