Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My pussy is not your playground.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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