I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
