How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
did i walk over a car last night?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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