There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
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THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
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I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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