I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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