im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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