my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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