Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
