We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
