I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
