I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah