I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.