she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize