What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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