Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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