So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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