i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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