Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
