I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
