I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it glows. i had to have it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
