also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
