im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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