Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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