Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
kristin has been a bad kristin
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
