It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
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Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
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I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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