A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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