whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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