then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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