nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
