my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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