He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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