dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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