Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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