I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
